In response to the ongoing saga of phone hacking and other dodgy journalistic methods, I’ve come up with a poem. It’s called World Of The News:
New desire to live
Started with a cake
Nice dime spent on prescription
Smell like a small fish
Landlady’s character
Set tea out in the grounds
Made sister have to stop
Noise made by bat
At home, fold may expand
Furniture item sent East
Domestic wages
Master new course
Stellar student follows a star incorrectly
Figures university internally is standing
Part of the Far East
String of recordings
Chaps find expert a threat
Switch to being more stupid
Repel odd change that’s regretted
Mix in prison
Agent sat preparing some food
Will fear new security measure
Woman stares wildly at calamity
We’re off to get a jug
OK. It didn’t fool you. You’ve spotted it’s nonsense. (You did, didn’t you?) In fact, I was inspired by Adrian Plass, who I seem to remember reading once wrote a poem by re-arranging the cryptic clues from a Times newspaper crossword and called it Our Times. If I’m recalling this correctly, he took it along with him to a poetry group where it was well-received for its apparent profundity.
So just for fun, I thought I might have a go with the clues from the now infamous last News Of The World crossword published last Sunday. The result is above. If you think you can do better and want to have a go, mix up the lines as you see fit – each line is a separate clue from the crossword.